Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
