Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
