i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
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