Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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