I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
