I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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