i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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