It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
