Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
