so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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