My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
