Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
