Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I think I won the penis lottery.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
