so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
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