I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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