Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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