i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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