Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
