Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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