I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
