hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize