I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
now i know why i became what i already was.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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