you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
