I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
