So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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