This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize