that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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