Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
