Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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