Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
