I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
