This dress was meant to end up on your floor
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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