And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
