my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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