It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
