best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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