We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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