you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
