By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
