I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Randomize
