i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize