pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize