maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Randomize
