i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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