I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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