dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
