All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I won't apologize to a one balled man
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
