He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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