I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
