"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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