how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
