watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
