He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
