Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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