I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize