I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
