I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize