Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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