i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
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