so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
