we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
