He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
