I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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