I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
My vagina is officially offended.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
