We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize