That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
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