if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
