Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
it's like heaven, but drunker
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
