dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
You dont lie about slip and slides
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
