I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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