Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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