what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
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